Pause

"Take my yoke upon you

and learn from me,

for I am gentle and humble in heart,

and you will find rest for your souls."

~ Matthew 11:29

Tweety Tweet

My week. On Twitter. You should follow me. Really.

~ ~ ~ ~

Dear Neighbors: It is now 10:30 and the fireworks that sound like cannons should cease. Thank you and good night.

We got rain! Like, REAL rain. Water falling from the sky. I wanted to go outside and dance in it. But I refrained. You're welcome.

A tweenage girl who has gone on two back-to-back week long camps sleeps a whole lot. Just sayin'.

It's Monday. Didn't we just do this?

Trying to decide if I'm going to the Michael Jackson memorial tomorrow or not...

Son & the Captain in the backyard hitting whiffle golf balls. Making memories. And divots.

OK people. If we're going to the MJ funeral, we need to leave now. Traffic will be bad. And we'll never find a place to park. Get in the car

*Yawn* ... I think I'm gonna' take a nap. Oh wait - I'm at work.

Wicked rocked.

My son eats all the time. I am convinced he has a tape worm.

Teaching son about the finer things in life. Like folding laundry.

Am I the only one with a pirate sword and a stuffed monkey on their kitchen counter? Thought so.

De do do do. De da da da. Is all I want to say to you.

I may or may not have just tried to fax something on the copy machine and almost made 521,000 copies.

Dear Weatherman: A little rain would be nice. Thank you.

Hey did you hear Michael Jackson died?

All Skate

Cracked. Me. Up.

Random Miscellany

Cooper: I just saw a lightening bug.



Me: They usually don't come out until later, when it's dark.



Cooper: Maybe he's just getting an early start in finding a lady bug.



~



Jordan: I need to go to the store.



Me: For what?



Jordan: Some feminine products.



Me: I just bought you all that. What else do you need?



Jordan: Fake nails.



Me: Good try.



~



(Kids were playing a game together and Jordan solved one of the puzzles.)



Cooper: MY SISTER IS A GENIUS!!



Jordan: Stay in school kid.



Cooper: Yeah, I guess I should quit taking bathroom breaks at school just to get water.





Jordan: ??





Cooper: I say have to go to the bathroom and then I just hang around the water fountain.



~



My friend the weatherman invited me to join him and one of our former co-workers for dinner. I couldn't make it so I asked him for a raincheck. Which totally cracked me up. Asking the weatherman for a raincheck. Get it?? WEA-THER-MAN?? .... RAIN-CHECK?? I seriously crack myself up.



~

We went to go see Wicked this week. Loved it. Life lessons learned from Wicked: (1) Things are not always how they seem. (2) Some bad PR can really ruin a person.

~

That's it for me today people.
Go forth and have a good day.

For the win

The Captain recently scored an entire set of kids golf clubs for Cooper. They were brand stinking new and somebody gave them to us because his son "never really took to golf". OK, we'll take them. Thank you.

For the first few nights, Cooper slept with the clubs by his bed. And there are rumors of him kissing the driver before he went to sleep.

Since then, he and the Captain have enjoyed watching some golf on TV. And they've been playing a little golf together. Either in the backyard, or at the driving range, or at the empty soccer field. They are creating memories. And divots. They have even been known to practice putting in the den. Although that gets a little dicey. And I usually have to put the kibosh on that.

Last night they were hitting some whiffle balls in the back yard. Cooper was pretending like he was playing in the U.S. Open and had just made a 2 foot putt for the win. We were the commentators interviewing him on his big win. It went something like this:

Cooper: Dad - say "For the win" like they do on TV.

Captain (in low TV golf announcer voice): For the win.

(Cooper sinks putt (OK there really was no sinking - he just hit the ball into the toppled flower pot) and then proceeds to throw his hands in the air, scream, drop to his knees and hide his face in his hands. Then he reaches in the flower pot hole, retrieves the ball, and holds it up to acknowledge the crowd. He makes his way across the yard through the imaginary throngs of fans and conducts his interview by speaking into the end of the golf club microphone.)

Captain: Congratulations Cooper on the big win. How does it feel?

Cooper: Awesome. Just awesome. I can't believe I won the championship. I would like to thank my family. And my dog.

Captain: What are you going to do with all this money?

Cooper: I'm going to buy some remote control cars. Because I am just seven. And I'm giving the rest to charity.

Captain: What was the hardest hole for you out there today?

Cooper: Definitely number 19. It was so hard. There was sand all over it.

(That is the point where I started laughing so hard, I had a coughing fit. And I almost wet my pants too.)

Captain: What was it like playing against Tiger?

Cooper: It was hard. Because he's an expert you know. And I'm just seven. If you'll excuse me now, I need to go say hello to my fans.


Kid totally cracks me up.

Confession is good for the soul

Yes. It was me.

I dropped 2 pounds of strawberries in the middle of Target. Those suckers can roll I'm tellin' you.

I chased down a lady in the Target parking lot who had a buggy full of corn to ask her what on earth she was going to do with all of it. Seriously people -- she had 200 ears of corn! And I was supposed to ignore that?

On the way home from the fireworks show Saturday night, I VERY LOUDLY sang all the words to Neil Diamond's "America". Jordan was ... not into it. Freedom's light burning warm....freedom's light burning warm.... Sing it Neil!

Anything you need to get off your chest?

About all I can handle

It's the Monday after a three-day weekend. This is all I've got people....