Me and My Good Life

Blah.

2012-02-02T05:24:00.004-06:00

Yeah, ok ok. I didn't post yesterday.

I'm sure you haven't slept a wink just waiting for another brilliant and entertaining post from me.

Sorry to disappoint.

This week I've just kind of been ... here.

Kind of a little weary.

Just kind of tired of doing, and thinking, and being.

I'm not sad. Or upset. Or depressed. Or any of that.

I'm just blah.

Doing all the STUFF.

Washing and buying and cooking and cleaning and driving and talking and getting and arranging and figuring out and managing and tutoring and working and deciding and coordinating and communicating. The stuff. Doing all the stuff.

And it's not that I'm not thankful or happy or love my life or my family or my job or my season in life or my responsibilities. That's not it.

Maybe a pedicure will make me feel better.

Or some cheese dip.

Or an extended visit to the crazy farm.

Oh you know what scares me? I just heard on the news about a person who was, let's say, "troubled". And "officials want to talk to his relatives about his mental state".

Eeeeek.

(Connie, if I ever become "troubled", please delete this blog and my twitter immediately.)

Anyhoo, this is a post about nothing.

I guess I'm whining. But it's my blog, so I can whine if I want to.

Me and my blah self are going to find some more coffee.

Peace out.

January 31, 2007

2012-01-31T07:50:00.005-06:00

Daddy gone.
Five years.
Time passes.
Things change.
Stay same.
Not fair.
It's hard.
Heart hurts.
I'm sad.
Miss him.
Stupid leukemia.
Don't like.
DON'T LIKE.
Hate it.
HATE IT.
Weepy eyes.
Distracted soul.
Need him.
Miss him.
Wanna' talk.
Sad heart.
Life continues.

In summary...

2012-01-30T05:41:00.004-06:00

The weekend.... in summary....

It was my birthday.
It was a good one.
I spent 15 hours of it at a volleyball tournament.
But Jordan didn't play.
Because of this....

It's only for two weeks.
Slight tear of the ligament in her thumb.
Yes, she did it playing volleyball.

Yes, it's her right hand.
Yes, she's right handed.
Yes, she asked me to help her shave her legs.
And cut her meat.

Cooper's Man Cave has made a reappearance.

I had a hot date with the Captain Friday night.
He may or may not have used my readers to check out the menu.

That's about the extent of my weekend.....

I could use one more day off.
To no avail....

Monkeying around

2012-01-27T05:53:00.001-06:00

It would be a lot easier to go to work today if I could wear these.

Bruce and Pamela

2012-01-26T05:40:00.004-06:00

I was reading the obituary of a friend's mother and decided to just peruse the other announcements on the page.

Bruce passed away.

The little announcement talked about his life.

And how "...he met and married the love of his life, Pamela..."

More about his life.

Then it talked about who he is survived by...

His sister

Etc etc etc

"...and his former wife, Pamela..."

Wonder what's the story with ol' Bruce and Pamela?

Home Decor

2012-01-25T05:37:00.004-06:00

Yes, those are the socks of a certain nine year old boy.

On the picture over my bed.

Not real sure what was going on in there.

But it obviously wasn't "go take a bath"

Great...another one....

2012-01-24T05:43:00.003-06:00

As if I didn't have enough addictions, my beloved sister Connie introduced me to Scramble with Friends. It's yet another word game. That I can't get enough of. Kind of like Boggle. Way fun.

So I've got Words with Friends - Scrabble-ish

Hanging with Friends - it's like a Hangman kind of thing. I'm not real nuts about this one. But, Cooper plays me on his Touch thing.

Now Scramble. Great.

And, of course, my beloved ~~Bedazzled~~ Bejeweled.

Issues, people. I have issues.

But remember, I'm exercising my brain.

So, I'm really doing this for my health.

Yes.

That's it.

Anybody wanna' play? I'm angie128

Guess I'd better quit blogging and quit playing all my little games.

Gotta' hem my pants, make Cooper's lunch and fold a load of laundry.

Life just gets in the way.

Check.

2012-01-23T05:49:00.005-06:00

First volleyball tournament of the year. Check.

Third place finish. Check.

Good playing. Good team. Good parents. Good coach. Check. Check. Check. Check.

Captain pulled over by Mr. State Trooper on the way home. Check.

Home sweet home. Check.

Fall in bed just in time to hear tornado sirens. Check.

Super tired on a Monday morning. Check.

Counting the hours until I'm back home to my heated throw and monkey slippers. Check.

here we go again

2012-01-20T05:13:00.005-06:00

It's been quite awhile since I have used the word "volleyball"

Hope you've enjoyed the respite.

Because club season starts this weekend.

See also: On the Road Again

I'm going to Alabama.

With a banjo on my knee.

And puppy chow in my bag.

Connie & Niece M are not traveling partners this year. Sad face.

But the Captain & Cooper are making this trip with us this weekend. Happy face.

See you Monday. Play nice while I'm gone.

like. times a thousand.

2012-01-19T07:43:00.001-06:00

my daddy's chair

which is now

in my son's room

It's for our own good.

2012-01-18T05:22:00.003-06:00

Yes, I confess I am now obsessed with Bejeweled.

Although I sometimes call it Bedazzled.

Which is kind of the same, but different.

And, I still play Words with Friends. I've got ~~at least 20 games~~ lots of games going.

I don't really see this as a waste of time.

I view it more as an investment in my future.

Brain exercises.

I'll be sharp as a tack when I'm old and gray. Well, rather, when I'm oldER and grayER.

When I was playing "just onnnnnnne more game" of Bedazzled last night, I told the Captain that one day he would thank me for all of this game playing because when we are old, my brain will be fit as a fiddle and I'll be able to take care of him. But I said that he won't know what's going on then because his brain will be mushy from watching all those Bigfoot shows. So he'd better thank me now.

He did not really agree with my logic.

Made perfect sense to me.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go try to beat my Bejeweled high score of 154,350.

Wedding pictures

2012-01-17T05:31:00.004-06:00

Take a look at this.

Seriously, how cute is that?

I almost feel like I need to buy them a gift.

Monday, Monday

2012-01-16T06:55:00.005-06:00

No, I'm not off today.

Wahhhhhh.

The boys have gone off on a "scouting adventure" which is fancy talk for "go to the woods and stomp around and shoot cans".

Jordan and I had a great weekend together. Great. GREAT.

Shopping, laughing, talking, talking, talking, eating, talking. It was great. Special, special time.

Even the part where we played Just Dance for an hour. An Hour. That was fun. Kind of. Except later. And my muscles were kind of sore. Or maybe it was my fat. Can fat be sore? Something was sore.

So, I'm going to tackle this day with a very warm heart. And some sore fat.

Science and stuff

2012-01-13T05:21:00.004-06:00

Cooper recently uttered the most dreadful words known to humanity.

"It's time for the science fair."

I don't do science.

I'm allergic.

The Captain handles all the scientific stuff about the science fair.

I handle paper, font, color, layout, alignment. Stuff like that.

I thought he had it all decided and was going to recycle a topic that Jordan used one year: "Which pain reliever dissolves fastest in water?"

But last night Cooper said he was part of Sydney and Zach's group doing something about growing plants with Coke or something like that. He lost me after he used the word "group." I HATE group projects. Hate. But it sounds like Sydney's mom is on top of it. So, fine with me. She can just let me know when Cooper is supposed to bring some Coke over to her house. Or whatever it is.

My lofty goal is to just make it through today. This five-day work week is slightly ridiculous. I just want to get back home to my jammie pants and monkey slippers. And play a little Bejeweled. And read Mockingjay. Oh, and sleep. A lot.

Peace and love.

Toys

2012-01-12T05:22:00.004-06:00

Think he likes the frisbee that Santa brought him?

Just Another Manic Monday

2012-01-11T05:21:00.004-06:00

There really is a good explanation about this picture.

And, yes, I will confess that's me....

On the right.

The Captain's sister is on the left. The Chef sister.

She's in town and came over to hang out Monday night. After we introduced her to Just Dance, we played Quelf. Ever play that game? (JuJu, PLEEEEEEASE tell me you have this game. It's *perfect* for you and your crew...)

The game requires you to do all sorts of wild stuff.

Like "make a mask out of household items and wear it until you land on a green spot"

Yeah, that was my card. So I did that.

Construction paper, coffee filters, and a headband.

And my precious daughter took a picture. And posted it on the World Wide Web. I love her.

Why there is no picture of Chef Sister with toilet paper all over her head as she pretends to be a mummy or one of the Captain performing a rousing rendition of "I'm a Little Teapot" is beyond me.... *ahem*

If you can get past me in that lovely mask, there are some other most interesting things in that picture.

Yes, I have on pajamas. And slippers. Don't hate.

And check out the big M on the mantle. It's supposed to be a W - an awesome Christmas gift from Connie. But Chef Sister's name - which used to start with a W - now starts with an M. And, upon her arrival at mi casa, she flipped it over. So there's that.

Please take note of the lovely mauve gigantic bean bag. That is not a permanent fixture in my den. But during the lazy winter days, Cooper drags it downstairs and plops in it in front of the TV.

Oh, with his two footballs. Yeah.

So, there ya' go. A "normal" night at my house.

234 and counting

2012-01-10T05:27:00.003-06:00

234 more days.

Until college football starts again.

I'm not sure I can make it.

The game last night was such a total snoozer, too.

I went to bed at half-time.

And may have slept through the whole first half anyway.

(To be honest, I really didn't care who won. Was kind of pulling for LSU I guess. But am glad Alabama won because I'm going to the dentist this morning and getting my hair cut this week and both of those folks are big Bama fans. Wasn't real sure I wanted them touching me if Bama had lost....)

And now, there is no more college football.

We've got a few more weeks of NFL play-offs.

All hail Tebow.

And college basketball. And that's fine. I love me some March Madness

But there's really no substitute for college football.

Waaaahhhhhh.

See you in September.

Laaaazyyyy

2012-01-09T05:31:00.005-06:00

Me? I'm wrapping up one of the laziest bestest weekends ever. What about you?

I read and slept and watched football and just laid around like a champ.

Yes, I finished book two of the Hunger Games. Read almost the whole book in a day. Have already started book three.

I watched a big Cotton Bowl win by my Hogs on Friday night. See also: Wooo Pig.

And, I attempted to fight off The Plague that the Captain had last week. I don't want that sickness.

Tonight is the last college football game of the season. I can hardly write that without bawling my eyes out. I'm kind of for nobody really. I don't care who wins. I'll be for both of them. When I told the Captain my game strategy, he called me Cooper. Cooper is always for whoever is winning.

Anyway, it was really a great weekend.

But, right now, all I need is coffee. And lots of it.

A post with pictures of big fish

2012-01-06T05:51:00.005-06:00

This week has been the longest week ever in the history of ever. I know, I know, it's only been four days. But still.

My brain has decided not to rejoin me upon this journey back to reality.

So, since I cannot think of anything to blog about today, I'm going to share with you two photos that I call "Big Fish We Caught at the Beach".

And by "we", I mean the Captain.

Captain of the sea.... Isn't he cute?! And by "he", I mean the Captain. Again.

The kids helped reel this one in.

Rumor was the fishies were Redfish. I just called them Big Ol' Fish.

In other news, my Hogs are playing in the Cotton Bowl tonight. Can I have a hooray and a woo pig!?!?!?!!

And that about sums it up. Fish and Hogs.

Have a great weekend, people!

Out of Order

2012-01-05T05:03:00.004-06:00

Remember I mentioned we had a few tiles in our shower floor that had come loose?

Well, apparently there's more to it than just grabbing the ol' hot glue gun and fixing that.

I present my shower...

And the panels of the shower now residing in my garage...

The tile men were only at our house for three hours on Monday to tear all that out and I knew within thirty minutes I am not cut out for any sort of home remodeling job. At all. No big kitchen overhaul for me. Ever. At one point, the men were carrying out huge chunks of tile and concrete. I couldn't even bear to look.

Rumor is the new shower floor shows up tomorrow so I'm back in business by the weekend.

Back at it.

2012-01-03T04:59:00.004-06:00

Alrighty. Back at it. Reality hits hard this morning. Back to school and work. Back to uniforms and homework. No more jammie pants and naps. Dislike. Dislike. DIS. LIKE.

A random holiday recap:

The ham and pork tenderloins I was so obsessed about? Well, they froze. In that tiny little refrigerator. Frozen solid chunks o' pork. I discovered this tragedy just a few hours before they were supposed to go in the smoker. It was a serious refrigerator setting fail. So back to the grocery on Christmas Eve Eve to pick up more meat. I may have appeared desperate when I was crying to the butcher lady, "I NEED TWO MORE PORK TENDERLOINS AND A HAM. PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE."

The holiday feeding of the five thousand went well. Food was delish. And plenty.

Santa brought Cooper tickets to WWE Monday Night Raw. It was last night. We got home at 11pm. While that late bedtime is not working out so well with the early alarm clock this morning, I figured today would be ugly regardless, so might as well go out with a bang. A good wrestlin' time was had by all.

We had a great week at the beach. Laziness abounded. Sun, naps, books, football, and lots of cream cheese.

Lots of cream cheese. And sour cream. Our annual Dipapalooza turned into a weeklong Dipapalooza.

It was chilly in the mornings and Connie and I took our heated throws (yes, we took those, thank you very much) and coffee out to the balcony. Nice.

I read Redeeming Love. If you haven't read it, read it. You won't be sorry.

I'm also almost finished with the current rage, The Hunger Games. It's a good one.

And, guess what? The Captain gave me a Kindle for Christmas!! Woot! I'm anxious to load some books on there. Since we already had the books that I'm reading now, I didn't do the ebook thing with those....

It's 25 degrees right now. That's ridiculous. Especially since this time last week I had my toes in the sand. Well, this time last week, I WAS ASLEEP, but you get my drift.

So, back at it today.

Oh, and volleyball practice tonight. Errrrrg.

OK, let's hear from you on this Whatever Day of January it is....

How were your holidays?
What did Santa bring you?
Any New Year's Resolutions to share?

Sound off.

Peace. And peace out

2011-12-23T07:07:00.003-06:00

You'll all be pleased to know I finished my shopping AND my wrapping. Well, I have three presents for the Bloggie Doggie that I have to wrap. But his can't be put under the tree until the last minute because he is a snooper. And yes, I buy presents for my dog. And yes, I wrap them. Don't judge.

So, the cooking and hanging around can now begin.

Speaking of hanging out, did I mention we're headed to the beach next week? Looking forward to doing NOTHING ... football, movies, food, books, sleep ... NOTHING.

I'll be taking a little bloggy vacation over the next week or so. So, I'll be back when I'm back.

But I wish you all a merry MERRY Merry Christmas. May peace and love and sausage balls abound.

To do list

2011-12-22T06:22:00.004-06:00

Will somebody remind me why I didn't take today off? {HEAD SLAP}

I still have one more gift to pick up. I have to go by ______ and get some ____ _______ for Connie. Then I have still have some wrapping to do. And, as I typed that, I just realized I think I have more wrapping to do than I thought.

Then ... cooking. And more cooking. And some more cooking.

Cooking for five on Friday night, nine on Saturday night, fourteen on Sunday lunch. I'm thinking about making the same thing times a thousand and just putting it out there three times. Nobody would notice would they? Even though it's kind of various combinations of the same people. I was fretting that I won't have enough food for Sunday. But, after a total come apart on the phone with my mom the other night, I feel better. Because nothing says Christmas like a nervous breakdown.

I'm obsessing right now over the big ham and two pork tenderloins that are in the outside little refrigerator in the garage. I had to put it out there because it won't fit in the regular frig what with the 27 containers of sour cream and stuff. I'm afraid I've set the temperature too warm or the frig is going to die or something. I've checked on that meat a jillion times. Including once at 3:30 in the morning. Yes, I have issues. So, I will just continue to go out there and pat my ham.

Oh - guess what? Last night, Jordan and her friend cooked dinner for us - poppyseed chicken, beans, rolls, apple dumplings - YUM. It was delicious. And they cleaned up the kitchen. (Score!) And brought me flowers. Sweet girls. They were so proud of themselves. And gave each other a high five and said "We're gonna' be great moms!" It was really a sweet act of service and a nice treat. I may sign them up for a weekend cooking job.

So, I'm off to work. Then home. HOME. Yes.

Then, it's all just fine. Regardless if my cranberries get cooked or not.

And, my sweet beloved husband just looked over at me and said, "So, whatcha' got goin' today and tomorrow?"

Bless.

Excuse me while I beat him with a wrapping paper tube.

What are y'all doing? What's on your to-do list the next few days?

Sound off.

Happy Anniversary Area Code 618

2011-12-21T05:13:00.003-06:00

Got a text yesterday morning ...

"Good morning my love. Got our dinner stuff cleaned up. It was driving Al crazy. LOL. I miss you already. Thank you again for a perfect anniversary."

And one minute later, I got this text ...

"Oh no. I just meant to send this to my husband and I just sent it to a lot of strangers. Sorry and disregard."

I'm just glad she didn't tell us how perfect her anniversary was ... G-rated texts only please.

Oh, and I'm glad she got the dinner stuff cleaned up.

The Elf Returned

2011-12-20T06:30:00.010-06:00

Jerry the Elf returned right after Thanksgiving. And this year, instead of simply hiding around this house, he seemed to get himself into quite a bit of mischief. And occasionally make a mess.

Oh, Jerry ...

Strumming along...

2011-12-19T06:07:00.005-06:00

First things first.... The winner of the yummy molasses cookie prize pack is.... Kearsie! {clap clap clap} Hooray! Now you can invite us all over for cookies!

Once again, I feel like I didn't accomplish much of anything this weekend. And, that's pretty tragic since it's the last real weekend before Christmas. I normally take THIS week off, but this year am taking NEXT week off. And it's become problematic because I still have 92,186 things to do and not much time to do it. And on this Monday morning I'm kicking myself for not taking off. But next week, I'll be glad. So I've just got to push through this ridiculous thing they call work.

Anyway, this weekend I did manage to make two trips to Target on Saturday and none of it was really holiday related.

Long story, but Cooper was in the market for a new guitar since his most excellent quality $30 Walgreens guitar is showing some significant wear and tear which is just a nice way of saying it's about to crack in half.

We ran to Target to JUST LOOK. And in the music department of Target (yes, Target has a music department), they had a $79 guitar for $30. And of course this deal was ONE DAY ONLY. So, I ate my words and we got the guitar with a combination of his money and my money.

Take guitar home. It's a beauty. Well, as beautiful as a $79 guitar from Target can be. But he discovers it's more like a grown up guitar and is too big.

Cue the wailing.

So we go BACK to Target (I am really not proud of this behavior.)

And we got a $29 guitar in the toy section.

And sure enough, thing was broken before it ever came out of the box. Because, I remind you, it was a $29 guitar from the toy section at Target.

Much to the kid's chagrin, I didn't haul bootie back up there, but that guitar is now boxed up and ready to be returned.

There's apparently a serious time crunch here since there's some alleged neighborhood holiday concert coming up. And it's vital that he be a part of it since he's the one that plays the intro to Crazy Train.

The rock group practiced on Friday night in my garage. Coop hauled his guitar and drum set out there. I let the merriment go for awhile but then asked that they simmer down less my Scroogey neighbors call the cops and I get cited for some noise ordinance. And I'm not really sure I could convince the nice officers that they were playing Oh Holy Night.

Other weekend happenings....

Jordan and the Captain went deer hunting this weekend but it was a total bust.

I went to the mall yesterday in an attempt to finish all this shopping. All I did was reaffirm the fact that I'm allergic to malls. There were just so many ... people ... and .... cars .... It was a frightening experience.

And, last night the Captain sensed an impending holiday related nervous breakdown so, in a move of desperation he asked how he could help. ''Can I go buy something for somebody? Can I go get food for the people?" He did help me wrap some gifts. And one of them may or may not have been for him. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Anyhoo, I've got to make a list and check it twice. Time's a wastin'....

Surprise!

2011-12-16T05:15:00.005-06:00

Today is Friday. Hallelujah and amen.

And it's my kids' last day of school. More hallelujah and amen.

I am very close to being finished with my shopping. And I've done a lot of wrapping, too.

And, I'm sure my brother-in-law will NEVER guess that he's getting a new fishing rod....

Timber

2011-12-15T06:57:00.001-06:00

Because nothing says Christmas like trees falling over.

Let's make cookies

2011-12-14T05:58:00.006-06:00

Best way to cope with all the holiday hub-bub? Make some cookies!

That's what I did -- and guess what? You can too because I have a giveaway! HOORAY!

The super nice people at Betty Crocker sent me a super neato gift pack through the other super nice people at MyBlogSpark.

But that's not the best news. The best news is that they have another one for one lucky reader of the MAMGL blog! Yessirree!

Look at all the cool things included in this little giveaway!

I whipped up the cookies recently. Simple. And yummy.

It took some explaining before Cooper understood what molasses was. But once he tasted the cookies, he was a fan. So were the Captain and Jordan. The cookies didn't last long.

And did I mention I looked so cute in my little Betty Crocker apron?

Wanna' win one of these great little prize packs so you can eat some yummy molasses cookies and look adorable in your own apron? Sure you do.

All you have to do is leave a comment telling me how much you love molasses cookies. Or how making these cookies will help ease your holiday stress. Or just say Merry Christmas.

So, go ahead and leave a comment. I will use Random.org to select a winner so
it's fair and all. Hurry! Giveaway ends Sunday and the winner will be announced Monday.

Oh - and please make sure I have a way to contact you if you don't have a blog or email address or I don't know where you live already or whatever. OK? Thanks.

This giveaway is only open to U.S. entrants. No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited by law. I was provided a gift pack for myself and also one for this review and giveaway. All the other legal business blah blah blah stuff.

Many thanks to MyBlogSpark & Betty Crocker for this Giveaway Opportunity!

All I want....

2011-12-13T05:31:00.003-06:00

Hooray hooray! I bought a Christmas present yesterday. I am finally realizing that these gifts won't buy themselves.... And, time....it's ticking.... So the show must get on the proverbial road.

I've been trying to order some things online. But soon, my statute of online ordering limitations will expire and the gifts won't get here in time. And I refuse to pay more in shipping than the actual gift costs. So it's looking like I'm going to have to go to some actual stores. I have confirmed that I'm allergic to the mall. So that's going to present a small problem.

Cooper has asked for a snowboard. This is slightly problematic because, you, ummmm, kind of need some snow for that. And a hill. He also is asking for a trampoline (Sorry, kid. Never), anything WWE related, and some Pittsburgh Steelers stuff.

Jordan's list only has three things on it: an iPhone, a gecko, and an additional piercing in her ear. Let's just say only one of those things is slightly viable. And it doesn't breathe. Or include needles.

The Captain never really asks for anything specific. He gets this weird little voice and says "allll I want is youuuuuuu". OK, then. That's easy. We're kind of "not giving each other anything" but we kind of do. Santa is still bringing us a new shower floor and getting our roof fixed. So there's that. Ho ho ho.

Me? I kind of want a Kindle, and of course world-wide peace, and 5 minutes without somebody saying "Mom".

And right now, I want some more coffee.

Ciao!

All Tied Up

2011-12-12T05:27:00.004-06:00

Another wild Saturday night at our house featured The Captain finding a show about the history of -- are you ready for this -- string. Yes, I said string.

I couldn't even understand that. Because there's no real history of string. String has been around forever.

Apparently not, according to the Captain.

Cue the intense debate on how long string has been around and how can you not have string and how on earth can you invent string? You don't INVENT string. It's ... string.

Seriously.

And I heard him whisper to Cooper, "You realize, Son, man has to MAKE string. It just doesn't APPEAR. God doesn't CREATE string. Your mom is nuts." OK, I can't really confirm that last nuts comment. But I think that's what I heard him say.

I said well, I personally believed string was around before the Indians, even though that's what it showed on The History of String show.

Captain: "Just because it showed him with a bow and arrow doesn't mean he's an Indian."

Humph.

I accused him of coming up with stuff just to string me along during this debate (sorry, couldn't resist the string pun)

Captain: "Yes, I'm secretly a TV show producer creating shows about all sorts of made up stuff just to make you confused."

Humph.

I finally got him to agree that string was probably around before Jesus, and before Abraham, and before Noah. So that pretty much takes us back to the beginning of the world.

And, the convo came to a screeching halt when I asked how he thought Adam & Eve walked their dog without string.

(When I mentioned that brilliant thought to Connie, she said Adam & Eve didn't have to put their dogs on leashes because they kind of had full run of the place... OK, good point. But I still think they had string.)

How can you NOT have string?

It's been around forever.

Everybody knows that.

Anyway, I'm ready to wrap this post up. {insert groan here}

This week ... Last week of school for my peeps - woop woop! And I MUST get this shopping finished.

Y'all have a great Monday!

Tannenbaum > Topics

2011-12-09T05:31:00.004-06:00

I'm totally brain-dead. Seriously can't think of a single thing to blog about.

And I really don't want to get into the fascinating things that have made it to my kids' Christmas wish lists. Let's just say the list includes a snow board and a gecko.

I'm still in denial about the leak in my roof and the broken tiles in my shower. So I won't be chatting about that.

Yesterday, I had lunch with Cooper and the rest of the 4th grade class. And, since there wasn't much burping or tooting nor was there talk of such activity, there was no real blog fodder there.

And, you really don't want to hear about how I had to take a nap at 8:30 last night just so I could be awake enough at 9:30 to leave to go pick Jordan up from volleyball practice. (And yes, practice that ends at 9:45 is late.)

Not gonna' talk about any of that stuff.

Nope.

So, why don't you tell me about your Christmas tree....

Real or fake?

White lights or multi-colored?

Matchy matchy ornaments or anything goes?

Craziest ornament?

Favorite ornament?

Ready? Go!

Pain in the neck

2011-12-08T05:32:00.005-06:00

Last night at church, I had a little word with the Captain's chiropractor. You know, the one who has required the Captain to sleep on his back. (see also: snore like a freight train).

I told the good doctor that I would not hesitate to give him a little ringy ding at two in the morning to discuss the Captain's treatment plan.

Another little part of this healing process requires the Captain to lay on the floor with a rolled up towel under his neck. And when I ask him what he's doing he says, "Shhhh - I'm supposed to lay here and totally relax for 10 minutes." And then he lays there with his eyes closed.

Wha???

OK, then.....

Speaking of pain in the neck....

Let's talk holiday shopping. Or let's not.

I'm slowly chipping away at my to-do list. And I'm trying to squash that suffocatingish feeling of "I have so much to do and so little time to do it."

So. Much. To. Do.

And that may or may not have been me in Target last night at 9:30 buying bananas for Jordan's French club lunch....

Which is in no way related to the Christmas shopping.

How do you say banana in French anyway?

Anyway, I bought two gifts yesterday. Hooray for me! But still lots to do. And then that whole wrapping thing.... My grand plans of "wrap as I buy" really have not panned out so well for me.

I think I'm going to go grab a towel and lay in the floor for awhile.

Laughing all the way

2011-12-07T05:25:00.003-06:00

Since I really don't want to focus on how much Christmas shopping I still have to do, today I will just watch this video over and over. Because it makes me laugh out loud.

Just Another Medic Monday

2011-12-06T05:18:00.005-06:00

Complaints of a sore throat and a pretty major history of strep led me to take Jordan to the minor med yesterday for the ol' swabby strep test.

Good news. No strep.

Bad news. No strep. Because means, there's no Rx for that. And, as Jordan put it, "It's just a waste of a perfectly good sore throat."

So she feels like doggie poop. And since next week is exams, this week is known as "Cram as much work and tests as you can into one week". So that's blah.

When we got home, Cooper said the Captain had been waiting on me to help him with his head...

...since he had busted his head open on a nail when he was in the attic...

...while he was up there checking on a roof leak...

...which was discovered after the 5+" of rain we have had over a 48 hour period...

....and now there's a big wet spot on the den ceiling...

...awesome.

Oh, the Captain --

Anyway, he ripped the back of his head open on an exposed nail.

So I tried to clean it out. And stop the bleeding. And not faint. I'm not too keen on bloody heads so I just kept recommending going BACK to the minor med for stitches. Then I wouldn't faint in my own bathroom floor while trying to clean up his gash. Besides, he wouldn't let me put peroxide on it for fear of bleaching out his hair....

After a few texts and photos sent to Dr. Brother-in-Law, we decided stitches were not in the Captain's future.

So he sat over there in his chair with cotton balls stuck on his head and tried not to bleed out while eating sour cream chicken enchiladas and watching Monday Night Football.

I was feeling a bit better about his condition until he said, "So you're pulling for the Ravens tonight?"

Ummmm, well.... it's the Chargers and the Jaguars.

Alrighty then....

I just sat there in my chair, eating my dinner, and googling "head injury symptoms"....

Later, he said he couldn't keep his eyes open and we debated if that was a result of the blood loss or just because he was just tired. We finally just threw caution to the wind and headed off to bed.

That's when he says, "I regret to tell you that my chiropractor has told me I have to sleep on my back"

(He's been seeing somebody - who we actually go to church with - about a neck problem...)

I put my head in my hands and started weeping. Because when the Captain sleeps on his back, he snores like some sort of large bear in the peak of hibernation.

"He says it's bad for my neck if I sleep on my back."

"Well, it's bad for your marriage if you sleep on your back."

So the Captain and his bloody head drifted off to sleep.

And immediately started snoring.

And snored so loud that it woke him up.

At 9:30 pm.

And I said, "I'll be having a word with ol' B.K. on Wednesday night at church. And I'm not afraid to call him at 2:00 in the morning to discuss this treatment method."

So, I just swallowed half a bottle of advil PM, passed out cold, and slept through the night.

I was a little scared when I woke up this morning that the Captain had bled out overnight in his sleep, but his white pillowcase was still white this morning and he was breathing, so I guess he's ok.

Unless he starts cheering for the Ravens this morning.

home sweet home

2011-12-05T05:22:00.005-06:00

This weekend, Cooper had his first birthday party sleep over invitation from a friend down the street. Off he went for a night of laser tag and bowling. Carrying his sleeping bag. And a little bit of my heart too.

And at 10:15, the doorbell rang. "Just came to tell y'all goodnight..."

And at 10:30, the doorbell rang again. "My stomach hurts."

And at 10:45, the doorbell rang again. "I just got to thinking about how much I was going to miss sleeping in my own room."

And he came home.

And that was fine with me.

Tree Haiku

2011-12-02T05:41:00.003-06:00

Our tree is complete

I wants lots and lots of lights

And then I'll add more

Is six thousand lights

Really considered too much

Curlies on top too

Ornaments are on

No matchy theme tree for us

Each holds memory

Don't forget to add

All those red

and silver beads

That's when the Captain

Asked if it was a bit much

I just looked at him

Needs gifts under it

Serious shopping is due

Sooner or later

Some stuff

2011-12-01T05:44:00.004-06:00

Some stuff:

You'll all be glad to know we got the ornaments on our tree last night. And, I found some curly red and green things for the top. So all is calm. All is bright. OK, not so calm. But bright. All is bright.

I finished reading The Help. Loved, loved, loved. Loved. No, I didn't see the movie.

I started Redeeming Love last night. Anybody read that one?

Next on the list is the Hunger Games trilogy. How about those? Anyone?

I'm crushing over the Kindle. It's on my Christmas list. I know I said I would NEVER get one. The Captain's been trying to get me one for two years. Nope. Did NOT want one. Until I gave my sister-in-law's a test read over the Thanksgiving weekend. Now. I. Must. Have.

Pinterest. Somebody stop me.

And, for the love, today is December 1st. What on earth happened?!?

Deuces.

He's just so precious....

2011-11-30T05:34:00.003-06:00

Recent convo with my precious nine-year old son....

He: What are my kids going to call you?

Me: What kids?

He: When I get married and have kids -- what will they call you?

Me: Oh, I don't know. Whatever you want.

He: Howwwwww abouuuuuut..... Big Maw?

Me: Big Maw?

He: Yep, Big Maw.

Me: Ummmmm, well, we have plenty of time to think about this. No need to make a decision tonight.

He: OK, Big Maw.

Flat and Loose

2011-11-29T05:15:00.006-06:00

So, yeah, we had snow. It snowed a lot. Big, wet, gorgeous flakes that were so pretty to watch. We braved the blizzard to go to Jordan's end of year volleyball banquet last night. But, to the dismay of the little people in my house, it all melted as soon as it hit the streets. So, school's open. See also: Get up.

I took yesterday off to do errands and things and stuff. Looking back on it, I'm not real sure what I accomplished. Although, four gifts were purchased. So, yea me.

While I was out, a little light came on my dashboard. I was almost home, so I kept on driving, figuring if my engine was going to fall out, I'd rather it fall out in my driveway rather than half way to Target. The light was a little exclamation point with squiggly lines all around it. It was hard to take the exclamation point seriously since it had the squiggly lines surrounding it. So yeah, ignoresville.

Once I got to the safety of my garage, I pulled out the ol' manual book thing and discovered it was a "low tire alert". Humph.

I looked at all four tires. This is where it gets complicated. Because I can talk myself into believing two things: One, that tires are flat. And B, that I'm going to throw up. (Seriously, if you comment on here that you have been puking all night and then I read it, I will convince myself that I was exposed and within thirty minutes will be laying on the couch with a rag and a bucket.) So, yeah, not only did the tires look flat, I was practically watching them lose air as I stood there.

I called the Captain to see if he had some big air pumpy thing in the garage that he could fix the soon to be flat tire. He asked if one of the tires looked flat. That's when I wisely informed him that all four of my tires were flat as well as the four tires on his truck which was also parked in the garage. Yep, eight flat tires out there.

Throwing caution to the wind, I drove his truck for the remainder of the afternoon's running around. And, you never know what you may find when you get in the Captain's truck. And by "never know what you may find" I mean machete. Yes, a MACHETE. I carefully tucked said machete in the backseat and headed to the Hob to find some curly red and green things to tuck in my tree. Yes, the tree that still has no ornaments on it.

Anyhoo, no flat tires on the truck. No flat tires on my car. No need for said machete. And no curly red and green things at the Hob.

And the day's hits just keep coming because after the Captain got home, he informs me that yesterday morning when he was taking a shower, he noticed a small piece of grout coming out of the shower floor. So he picked it up. And it pulled another piece of grout out. So he pulled THAT up too. Then two pieces of tile came out of the floor. Apparently, my solution of not using the shower for a day and just gluing the tiles back to the floor and squirting some grouty stuff in there is not acceptable, because the Captain began informing me that the entire floor of the shower has to be pulled up and replaced. Something about water getting under the bottom of the shower and then the water pan overflows and then water goes through the wall into my closet. I don't really know all the details, because I blacked out after he said it would cost "a little under $1,000" to get it all fixed. So, Merry Christmas to me. I'm getting a new shower floor.

More on exciting goings on later. Including updates on whether I will find curly red and green things and if we will ever get the ornaments put on our tree. In the meantime, have a lovely day.

From Texas to Tennessee

2011-11-28T06:20:00.004-06:00

The Great Texas Thanksgiving Adventure is now history.

The "elder set" cancelled at the last minute. So no wheelchair. Or alleged catheter.

Here's the weekend summary ala numbered list.

1. We ate. And ate. And ate. Having a real live chef sister-in-law does not disappoint. We were just like baby Kennedy and ate every three hours. Time for our next feeding....

2. Speaking of baby Kennedy. Precious, precious, precious.

3. Football. My poor Hogs. Man, what happened? What a bust. So sad about that. Pitiful.

4. We watched more football. Yum.

5. The Captain may or may not have dropped his drawers in the middle of the den to try on a pair of shorts.

6. Cooper built a bigfoot trap out in the backyard.

7. Did I mention we ate a lot?

8. I delved into Pinterest. I know, I know.... Shouldn't have ever even gone there.

9. There was mass use of communication equipment -- seven phones, three laptops, an iPad, a Kindle. We were highly connected.

10. There were no ghost sightings or bumps in the night in the 115 year old B & B where we stayed. Although, Cooper did wake me up once in the middle of the night to tell me he thought was going blind.

It was a perfect weekend - well, except for the part where the Captain stood in the den in his underwear...

And now we are back.... to a forecast calling for 2" of snow tonight, an early morning orthodontist appointment, laundry out the wazoo, volleyball banquet tonight, and a tree that still has no ornaments on it.

Happy Monday!

Texas Bound

2011-11-23T07:05:00.000-06:00

By the time you read this, I'll probably be in the car with the Captain, my two kids, the Captain's grandmother, and the Captain's aunt on our 1,000 mile round-trip Great Texas Thanksgiving Adventure.

Other miscellaneous items in the car will be: three bags of M&Ms, a box of CheezIts (Scrabble version for our gaming pleasure), a wheelchair, a walker, two laptops, one DVD player, 467 movies, Christmas presents, and a partridge in a pear tree.

And Jordan may or may not have packed four bags. Four bags. FOUR. I can't confirm, but I think one of them contains only hair products. Apparently beauty has its price.

I'll probably be taking a bloggy break until next Monday. If you want to know what I'm up to, check me out on Twitter for real-time updates of my most exciting life.

So, for your reading pleasure, I present a few things I will and will not do this weekend:

I will not shop on Black Friday.

I will not see Breaking Dawn movie.

I will eat like a pig.

I will talk sports smack with my crazed LSU fan brother-in-law and my converted LSU fan sister-in-law.

I will celebrate a mighty HOG victory.

I will not call the Hogs so loud that it wakes up baby Kennedy.

I will enjoy being with my family.

I will miss my other family (Mom, Connie.... Mom's dressing.... )

I will watch football until I'm comatose.

I will not say I told you so when we are stuck for three hours on the Arkansas interstate due to construction.

I will be thankful.

I am thankful for all of you, my little cupcakes, and am happy that you come here every day and read all this blah blah blah stuff.

Hope you all have a blessing-counting, thanks-giving, food-eating, family-loving, football-watching kind of day.

A little knock knock and then let's go.

2011-11-22T07:53:00.000-06:00

Today is the big day. It's the Fourth Grade Talent Show.

Cooper will be doing knock knock jokes. And will be getting a pie in the face. They have a door and everything. This is a first class production, this fourth grade talent show. After he totally annoys his partner with knock knock jokes, his friend gives HIM a little knock knock....

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Piefer

Piefer who?

Piefer YOU!

At dinner last night he prayed that "the talent show will go OK and that there will be no mishaps with Matthew's magic trick." What on earth is this Matthew kid doing? Sawing the teacher in half?? I'm a little nervous about that.

Tomorrow begins the Great Texas Thanksgiving Adventure. I'm soooo excited about seeing the Captain's sisters. And to meet the newest member of our family, little baby Kennedy.

I got a text from my LSU crazed brother-in-law saying he now has to work on Friday and won't be watching the game with me. I'm not sure if he's telling the truth or if he's just skeeeeeered about facing the mighty Hogs. See also: Wooo Pig.

We're headed out tomorrow morning with the Captain's grandmother and his aunt. There may or may not be a catheter and a wheelchair involved. No comment on this.

And I found out yesterday that the interstate is down to one lane for half our journey and then closed due to flooding for the other half of our journey. So it looks like we will be heading to Texas via St. Louis....

I told the Captain last night I could tell there would be adventure on this trip. I can just feel it in my bones. Except for my toe. I can only feel pain in my toe because I rammed it on a door frame Sunday night and it's swollen and purple and broken and hurts like *(#&(@*&#. But, in the holiday spirit, it looks very much like sugar plum. So I've got that going for me.

The Captain's chef sister will be cooking Thanksgiving dinner for us. Remember when we went to her graduation from culinary academy? I hope during this Texas trip we can have a nice relaxing visit, with delicious food, sans puke.

I only have about 27,194 things to do before we head out in the morning. But then it's all good. And we'll be on the road. For the Great Texas Thanksgiving Adventure.

I'll let you know how the talent show goes. And if there are any mishaps with Matthew and his ... ummmm.... magic feats.

Peace and love.

A loss. A win. And a tree.

2011-11-21T05:15:00.006-06:00

The Lions lost Friday night. And I may or may not have gotten a little teary. Because I don't really like to see 225 pound boys sobbing in their daddy's arms.

The Hogs won. And now they are ranked #3. And they play LSU on Friday afternoon. And I'm so excited. I can't quit thinking about it. I obviously have no life.

And, on the holiday front, I got all my Christmas decorations put up. It's pretty, but feels "off". Mainly because it's 75 degrees out there.

My tree is also up. I got the lights on it. But no ornaments. It definitely needs more lights. I'm light obsessed. I like lots and lots and lots of lights. Last year I put about 23,782,117 extra lights on my pre-lit tree and that caused a slight ... ummmm... problem. Because the tree pluggy in thing started melting, and then the tree had to go to the curb. And we all know it's never really Christmas until your tree catches on fire.

So I'm using Mom's old tree. It's a beaut, but I forgot it isn't one of those trees that is only three parts: bottom, middle, top. This beauty features a trunk with 56,000 branches. But I got it assembled. And lit. But not as lit as I would like it. So, getting more lights today.

And here we are ... Thanksgiving week. And it promises to be a wild one.

First, you gotta' love God, then ...

2011-11-18T05:07:00.005-06:00

Open house for Cooper last night. A little disappointed there were no handprint turkeys.... but some good work nonetheless.

Including this little gem.

The kids had to write the kind of person they hope to marry one day.

Hey fourth grade gals, wanna' catch Cooper's eye?

It's pretty simple....

"I would like a Christian.

I would like a WWE fan.

I would like a good girl.

I would like an awesome girl to go to church with."

*sniff*

OK, weekend plans?

A little Friday night lights tonight -- Semi-final playoff game! GO LIONS!!

Putting up Christmas stuff tomorrow...

College football. Of course.

Peace and love, my cupcakes.

See you Monday.

He No Wear Feather

2011-11-17T05:20:00.005-06:00

Yesterday was Coop's Thanksgiving celebration at school and they were supposed to dress like Indians or Pilgrims.

I found a printable little Indian feather headdress thing. Printed it out, cut it out, cut all those notches in the paper card stock feather - you know, so it would look real - poked holes, tied string etc etc etc.

Since I was fresh out of deerskin pants and buffalo hide vests, my little Indian wore that official Native American apparel known as blue jeans and a camo tshirt. And the lovely paper feather headdress thing.

That was as good as it was going to get. And that was going to be just fine.

And apparently, he wasn't too keen on the feather headdress thing because last night he confessed that the minute he walked in the front door of the school, he took it off and threw it in the garbage can.

Alrighty then.

crazy calling

2011-11-16T05:18:00.004-06:00

Yeah, I'm knocking on the door of "I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO".

Trying to hold it together.

At least I'm not as bad as the friend I saw at the grocery last night. Who had a buggy full of Thanksgiving meal ingredients. She thought Thanksgiving was THIS Thursday... Bless...

I'm just getting confused with all the stuff and the days and all the things.

I almost sent Cooper to school yesterday dressed like an Indian. Except that is supposed to be today. Awesome.

And this weekend I'm hoping to put my Christmas decorations up. Which totally violates my holiday code. But, because of other stuff going on, it's either this weekend or two days before Christmas. And that's not so cool.

But I think this Saturday is the only day that Cooper and his little friend can practice their talent show.

So now I'm afraid my tree won't get put up at all.

And I went to sleep last night crying to the Captain "... and one day our kids will be telling their therapist 'Well, one year we didn't have a Christmas tree... ' "

Oh yeah, the talent show.

It's next Tuesday.

Wanna' know what we've done for that?

Nothing.

Zip.

Nada.

Other than decide he is doing knock knock jokes.

Knock Knock.

Who's there.

A crazy woman.

And a week from today we are leaving for a five day trip to Texas for Thanksgiving with the Captain's family. More on that little journey later. It's shaping up to be a real adventure.

And for the first time ever in my whole entire life, I won't have my mom's dressing for Thanksgiving. I could bawl my eyes out about that.

But I've purchased AND WRAPPED THANK YOU VERY MUCH some gifts. Cause, yeah, we're doing Christmas next week too. So, it's really more like Thanksmas actually.

And it's all fine. And it will all be fine. Because I feel all suffocatingish like this every year. And then it all gets done. And works out nicely. And Christmas comes. And is lovely. Whether you have a tree or not.

God bless us every one.

Like. Dislike.

2011-11-15T05:32:00.003-06:00

Jordan wants a gecko for Christmas = dislike

The Captain likes to play Cooper's recorder = like

All he knows how to play is the theme song from Star Wars = dislike

Club volleyball season starts in two weeks = like

Club volleyball season starts in two weeks = dislike

Jordan's practices are scheduled for 7:30-9:45 pm = dislike

Her coach is great = like

It's going to be pouring rain this morning during my drive across town to school and then back across town to work = dislike

Tonight is the only night all week we will be home = like

I'm starting to get that feeling known as "the holidays are approaching and I have so much to do I may have a breakdown" = dislike

I'm determined not to have a breakdown = like

Next week is Thanksgiving = like

I won't be having my mom's dressing = dislike

I will be watching the Arkansas-LSU game with my LSU fan brother in law = like

Coffee = like

The end.

Update on the 11th on the 14th

2011-11-14T05:02:00.003-06:00

An update for you on my eleven things I had hoped to accomplish this weekend. Because I know you thought about them all weekend.

1. Lions won. Big. One big semi final game this Friday night against a tough team stands between the Lions and the state finals.

2. It was cold at the game. But not too bad.

3. I slept in Saturday til 6:30. Yum.

4. College Football. Lots of it. Including a big Hog win. Woooo Pig!

5. Washer ran all weekend. And we've accumulated more laundry. I don't get it.

6. We purchased electric hair rollers. Rollers have come a long way in the last thirty years.

7. Well, there was a little cleaning and some throwing away. But as much progress here as I had hoped.

8. I WRAPPED CHRISTMAS PRESENTS! I'm so proud of myself. Five presents wrapped. Yes.

9. The cast is off and the kid is giving himself a shower once again. Hallelujah.

10. Soup. Yes. Cookies. No.

11. Recharge? Check.

And guess what else I did this weekend??

I met Busy Mom!! Yay Yay Yay!! She's a bloggy prowess. And has great hair. So excited to finally be able to meet her. And to think that it didn't even happen at a volleyball game ...

There's a crazy few weeks ahead. Which involve several night meetings, a 14 hour round trip Thanksgiving journey to Texas, putting up my Christmas tree earlier than normal, and helping my mom pack and move into a new place. Stay tuned and sign me up for a B-12 shot.

In the meantime, have a good day.

Some of the tweets

2011-11-12T02:47:00.000-06:00

Why can't I remember to blog on Saturday? The world may never know...

The Captain has returned home, and I have lost possession of the remote control.

You know those little baby white powdered donuts? I love them. That's all.

And I love Kirk Herbstreit, too.

I thought my car had been stolen until I remembered I parked on the other side of the building.

I bought @connie423 two Christmas presents today. Be impressed.

I just spilled a jar of spaghetti sauce down my shirt. Continue to be impressed.

The Captain just got a fun size bag of M&Ms, ripped it open, and threw them all in his mouth. At once. Sacrilege.

I love banana Laffy Taffy and am not ashamed to admit it.

Welcome to yet another day of "It's all so ridiculous."

Your and you're are two completely different words. Thank you. That is all.

I don't do award shows.

It's never wrong to do the right thing.

I have an extreme affection for index cards.

I love this whole get dark early thing.

Son has tacky day today. And this morning he is at a doctors appointment. Looking slightly ridiculous in the waiting room.

Not feeling too hot today. I hope none of my internal organs fall out on the floor. That would be so embarrassing.

Eleven

2011-11-11T05:18:00.003-06:00

In celebration of today being 11.11.11, I now present eleven things I'm going to do this weekend:

1. Catch the high school football play off game tonight. Go Lions!

2. Freeze my bootie off at the high school football play off game tonight.

3. Sleep later than 4am tomorrow morning.

4. Watch as much college football as possible.

5. Laundry. Of course. How four people can generate so much dirty laundry remains a mystery.

6. Buy Jordan some electric hot rollers. She asked me yesterday if I knew what they were and if I would get her some. Ummmm, yes I'm slightly familiar with hot rollers, said the BIg Haired Child of the Eighties.

7. Do some cleaning in our playroom and upstairs bedroom before the producers from Hoarders show up at my door.

8. Wrap the four Christmas presents I've already purchased. Be impressed. I have promised myself I will wrap as I buy this year. We'll see how that works...

9. Not give my son a bath. Because hopefully he will get his cast off this morning and my streak of bathing him myself twenty-one nights in a row will come to a screeching halt.

10. Make soup. And some cookies. And not necessarily in that order.

11. Recharge.

Hi, I'm a mom.

2011-11-10T05:29:00.007-06:00

We're making progress in life. And the week is finally making an upswing.

Coop's cough is finally better. I finally gave up on trying to give him the medicine. I know. That's probably not cool. But it all just wasn't worth it. And I figured he would either get better or worse. And if he got worse, then we'd just end up in the hospital anyway. And a nurse or somebody could be the medicine dosing heavy. So the end. And he's a little better. Certainly no worse. And I can quit sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor crying and bemoaning my failures as a mom who can't get her kid to take his medicine.

Hope, hope, hope, hope the cast comes off tomorrow.

The talent show....Looks like he might do knock-knock jokes. He REALLY wants to do "Yo Mama" jokes. I have put my Mama foot down on that one. Even though he does have some pretty good ones... I just can't, in good conscience, allow that. (Yo Mama is so fat, she sat on her iPhone and it turned into an iPad ... I know, I know...)

Jordan was dealing with some teenage problems. Nothing major. Just stuff that is a big deal in the life of a teenager. It involved boys (of course). And friends. And not friends. And it involved some lying and some major hurt feelings and some other stuff. And her world kind of stopped spinning for about an hour. But then, just like that, it all actually became quite hilarious. And then some other stuff happened. That's kind of related, but not really. And then the world started spinning again. And life is just fine (for now). And probably better than it was before. And Jordan is in the driver's seat of life once again. Funny how it all happens.

But let me just tell you, in case you don't know, it's hard being a parent of a teenager.

And she's a pretty good teenager.

Except she apparently got in trouble in Bible yesterday because she called her teacher "Bro". But that's another story for another time....

And, with that, I'm off to try to wake up all the other human beings in my house. And, I hope you, and Yo Mama, have a delightful day.

Extra sleep, but not really.

2011-11-09T05:25:00.003-06:00

Well, good news. The asteroid didn't hit the earth. Whew, that's a relief.

And I survived the press conference.

LeBron James and Penny Hardaway were there.

They are a little bit taller than me. But not by much.

And I don't know about you, but I'm digging the time change thing. I love how it's dark so early. It makes the evenings so lonnnnnng.

Last night at 6:15, it felt like it as 9:30. Even Jordan said she was heading to bed. At 6:30??!! Oh..... it's only 6:30?

And we tend to go to bed a bit earlier. Because a few extra hours of sleep is nice. Unless your nine year old son sleepwalks all over the house all night long.

Or rolls over and whacks his cast on the wall and it sounds like somebody is breaking in the back door.

Or your husband snores in a ridiculously loud fashion and sounds like some sort of ferocious prehistoric animal.

Or you wake up at 1:30 and can't go back to sleep.

But other than all those little challenges, the extra sleep is nice.

So, I'm off to tackle Wednesday. And see what sort of treats are in store for this lovely Hump Day.

Debates and Goodbye (maybe)

2011-11-08T05:24:00.005-06:00

I love having debates with the Captain. Nothing like a little intense fellowship with that guy. And our topics are all over the place.

Here are a few things the Captain and I have debated in the last few days:

> How many miles it is across the entire US

> How many miles it is from the earth to the moon

> The special role of the coffee filter basket and how important it is to treat it gently

> The proper way to eat M & Ms

> The appropriateness of giving doggies biscuits unconditionally

> What years did Shakespeare live

In other news, apparently an asteroid is hitting the earth this afternoon at 5:30. That's right in the middle of a big press conference I'm doing that may or may not include two NBA stars. And while those media folk are hard to figure out sometimes, I'm pretty sure an asteroid hitting the earth will garner more press than my youth sports facility announcement.

And, for the record, the Captain is nowhere concerned about the asteroid hitting the earth. When he left this morning, I kissed him goodbye and told him it's been fun being his wife, but an asteroid would be hitting the earth before we all arrived back home tonight so this was pretty much the end. Then he gave me that look. Yeah, the "I wish I had never asked you out the second time" look.

So, if the big ol' humongous asteroid blows the Earth up, I just want to say thanks for being faithful readers of my blog. I love you all. Have a good life.

But, if I survive the press conference and the Earth remains intact, then I'll see you tomorrow.

cough cough cookie cookie

2011-11-07T05:13:00.006-06:00

The zitrhromax laced Oreo cookie system isn't going so well anymore. Neither is Cooper's cough. Not really sure what to do here...

The cookie ingesting attempts have also involved some crying. And some wailing and gnashing of teeth. But then I realized I probably wasn't setting a good example by laying in the middle of the kitchen floor crying like a three year old hollering, "Please eat the cookies! Please eat the cookies!"

Poor Coop. He'll never want to eat another Oreo again.

Several other attempts to ingest hidden drugs failed too.

And resulted in puke.

Which is always delightful.

I'm sure all this will drive him to therapy when he's older...

In other news, there's no progress on the talent show either.

I'm just excited that I'm still in the running for Mom of the Year Award. Yay!

Oh, and Coop's in his cast for at least another week.

Note to self: save more newspaper bags to wear during bath

I'm also excited to report that my Hogs won this weekend,

75% of our household got haircuts,

And, I've been awake since 1:30 this morning.

The end.

Creamy middle with a crunch

2011-11-04T05:14:00.005-05:00

Coop has a little crud and the doctor prescribed a z-pack. Joy. Those are pills. Pills. Boy can't swallow a pill.

Ever tried to teach a nine-year old how to swallow a pill?

We attempted last night.

It's not as easy as it sounds.

We failed.

So we chopped the pill into smaller pieces.

Failed again.

I mixed it with applesauce.

Nope.

Stuck it in a cube of cheese.

No way.

Put it on his tongue and blew on his nose.

Bow wow. And no.

I searched the pantry for options. Bingo.

I stuck the pieces in the creamy middle of an Oreo.

Well, it was more like six Oreos. Because you know that first dose of a z-pack? It's TWO pills. Awesome.

But it worked.

And he ate the cookies laced with zithromax.

Success.

So we'll be eating cookies for the next four days.

And he might get his cast off this morning.

And if today had been any other day other than Friday I would have bawled my eyes out.

Humanity has made me weary this week.

So, Happy Friday. Have a good weekend. And may your team have a big ol' W tomorrow.

Showcasing that talent

2011-11-03T05:11:00.004-05:00

You know what fourth grade brings?

Lots of challenges...

Like math word problems where we apparently have $1500 to buy a table and six chairs, but we spend $230 less than our budget and if the table costs three times the amount of the chairs, how much is the table? ...

And like having to identify on a map all those little, bitty states up there in the northeast.... Ummmm .... Maine? I got that one - isn't it the big one up on the top? Erg ... Sorry, baby Mommy doesn't know how to use a map ...

But it also brings the tradition known as The Fourth Grade Talent Show.

It's in three weeks.

I somehow feel like Cooper's amazing feat of being able to burp and toot at the same time will really not wow the audience. The second graders? Maybe. Everybody else? Not so much. Although I think I remember last year some kid burped the whole alphabet. It was actually quite impressive.

He's been pondering what to do....

Magic tricks. Surely watching 96 episodes of Mindfreak this summer could lend us some ideas of what to do. Like make an elephant disappear or escape from a wooden box submerged in a tank of water? Or how about just a fancy little card trick...

Perhaps he could recite all the WWE wrestlers and their finishing moves. I'm proud to say personally I'm good for 75% of that list.

Knock knock jokes? He's got a book chock full. Could entertain folks for hours.

When Jordan was in the talent show, she did a Billy Goats Gruff puppet show. "Who's that trotting over my bridge?" A puppet show isn't quite his style.

So....

What to do ... what to do ...

Post portrait post

2011-11-02T05:20:00.005-05:00

Seven things regarding yesterday's family portrait:

1. This was the first year since we've been married that the Captain hasn't dressed up like a cop for Halloween. That cop uniform, while quite authentic, was getting pretty boring after all these years.

2. The Captain also carried around a lasso. Why he actually owns a lasso remains slightly unclear.

3. He wore his Wranglers. Hubba hubba.

4. Cooper had some difficulty making a costume decision. At one point over the weekend, he said he was just going to be "a pedestrian". Huh? "You know, I'll just walk around." Then he said he would be a "civilian". Again, a non-costume costume. Monday night he waivered between Troy Polamalu and John Cena before finally setting on #43.

5. Fred Flintstone got cold and ended up wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket most of the night.

6. I'm still wearing the whistle. Comes in handy.

7. The Captain wore Wranglers.

Trick or Treat

2011-11-01T05:06:00.003-05:00

I got no words for this....

Boooooooots

2011-10-31T05:21:00.005-05:00

This post is about boots. But it's also Halloween. So the title for today's post should cover both bases. I know, I know.... How do you people stand the cleverness of this blog? Bless...

In an effort to find the balance between cute and warm for Friday night's homecoming game, and after extensive fashion coaching from Connie, I set out Friday afternoon to find some boots. You know - boots. Like "fashionista wear with jeans" boots. Boots.

Quick text to the Captain:

Me: Gonna' run by the store and look for some boots.

Captain: What about your boots in the garage?

(Part of me thought this was hilarious since the Captain is boot-obsessed. And for him to even remotely question a boot purchase was slightly funny.)

Me: Well, maybe... but it's not gonna' be wet. Just cold. Boot boots.

Captain: Oh, I thought those were insulated.

After a futile search, I headed home bootless and reported my failure to the Captain.

He still kept talking about wearing the boots in the garage.

Now, this whole time I thought he was talking about my little polka dot rain boots. Cute? Yes. Warm? No. Wet outside? No.

"Oh, not those," he said. "The insulated camo hunting boots."

CAMO HUNTING BOOTS?

TO HOMECOMING?!!??!!?

He's hilarious.

Now, I'm not much of a fashion plate. And, yes, I had stated that Warm > Cute. But, I would have to draw the line at the camo hunting boots.

I did find some acceptable footwear.

And my feet stayed warm.

And the Lions won.

And are district champs!

And we all lived happily ever after.

The end.

Gladys, a Flood, and Nothing to Wear

2011-10-28T05:15:00.004-05:00

It's cold and it's raining and it's Friday.

And, I still don't have the scoop on Gladys. And the Captain has no info either so I will have to call Grandma Betty today. Gladys told me Grandma Betty/Aunt Betty gave her a red slip for high school graduation. And she still has it. Now that little nugget of info just may hold the key to why she is not an active member of the {Insert Captain's Last Name Here} Clan. I question the motives of anybody who holds on to a red slip for forty plus years ...

So how was your day yesterday? My day featured a water line in our break room that busted overnight and flooded our building. Yeah, when water runs continuously all night long, it tends to create quite a little problemo.... So I spent the morning helping clean up soaked fallen ceiling tile and sucking water out of carpeting. It's a huge mess. You know it's not going to be a good day when you get to work and see twelve "Water Disaster Recovery" trucks in your parking lot.

No, I didn't stay awake and watch the game that was apparently nuts and great and long. Sounds exciting. But so were my seven hours of sleep. Clutch. Cardinals.

Homecoming football game tonight. Feel kind of compelled to dress "cute" which is slightly problematic because I'm pretty sure a big ol' Park County Wyoming Sheriff's Department hoodie that I stole from the Captain doesn't qualify as "cute". Fashion plate I'm not. Well, Go Lions anyway.

Alrighty....

Word to your mother.

A funny thing happened on my way to Target

2011-10-27T05:21:00.005-05:00

So the craziest thing happened to me yesterday. Wanna' hear about it? Sure you do...

I ran in a Target that I hardly ever, ever NEVER go in. Grabbed what I needed and headed to the check out.

I'm staring with Gladys, my check out lady. She looked familiar, but not like "Hey, I know you" familiar - more like familiar in "Hey you just look familiar" familiar. So she continues to scan my stuff. And I continue to stare at her. She just had ... this look. Familiar.

Then I say, "You wouldn't by any chance be related to anybody named {Insert Captain's Last Name Here}?"

And then she just looks at me kind of weird and says why yes she is.

And I say "As in {Insert Captain's Last Name Here} of the Small Town, Missouri {Insert Captain's Last Name Here}'s?"

And then she really looks at me kind of weird and says why yes she is.

And I said, "I'm married to Captain {Insert Captain's Last Name Here}."

And come to find out, her uncle ("Uncle Buck") was the Captain's grandfather ("Granddaddy Buck").

And I said in loud fashion, "SHUT. UP."

Seriously people - how weird is that? A family reunion of sorts right there at register 3 at the Target I never go in.

So Gladys the Target check-out lady is the Captain's cousin or something like that.

I couldn't wait to fill the Captain in on this exciting discovery, but he wasn't nearly as blown away by the situation as I was.

He just kind of said "Oh, Gladys. Yeah, she's Irene's daughter."

Maybe there's some kind of family feud that I'm not aware of or something. Cause I haven't seen Gladys gathered 'round the holiday table.

And, apparently, it wasn't like I had discovered this long lost family member. So I guess we aren't going to be on Oprah for some big reunion show.

Good thing, because Oprah isn't even on anymore.

Oh well...

So, anyway...

Merry Christmas, Gladys.

Now...

2011-10-26T05:32:00.005-05:00

I am....

Listening -- to a news story about a man who was cooking a raccoon in big pot in his driveway. People be crazy.

Needing -- a haircut, a day off, a pedicure, and a little more sleep

Reading -- The Help. No, I haven't finished. Yes, it's so very good. No, I haven't seen the movie.

Hating -- 4th grade math

Drinking -- coffee. the end.

Dreading -- some things on today's work to-do list.

Hoping -- the Cardinals can win tonight.

Looking -- for some things to help Jordan dress like a hippie today for Homecoming Throw Back Day. Peace out.

Thinking -- about how sometimes it's just so hard to be a parent. and to have to watch kids go through that thing called LIFE.

Wanting -- more coffee

So, wassup with YOU?

No lights. No win.

2011-10-25T05:56:00.005-05:00

I was checking the ol' Twitter last night while I was watching the Cardinals attempt in vain to hold on to the lead in game 5... I saw some chatter about folks in our area seeing the Northern Lights.

So, of course, I felt obligated to run out there in the yard in my pajamas and take a look.

The Captain was already halfway asleep and didn't want to go look with me. Party Pooper.

"I'm going out to see if I can see it. What should it look like?"

"Glowing lights in the sky."

"Which direction should I look?"

"Ummmm, that would be NORTH."

"........."

So, in the end, I didn't see the Northern Lights.

And the Cardinals ended up stranding twelve runners on base (TWELVE) and losing the game.

Wah.

I'm sure you're fine. Or not.

2011-10-24T05:27:00.004-05:00

Unless the bone is sticking out, there is bodily fluid pouring from every orifice of your body, or you are losing blood to the point of requiring a transfusion, my typical response to "medical whining" is "Let's just watch it. Put some ice on it. I'm sure you're fine."

And that's what I told Cooper Thursday night when he fell off his bike and complained the rest of the night about his hand.

"Let's just watch it. Put some ice on it. I'm sure you're fine."

And that's what I told Cooper Friday morning when he complained about his hand.

"Let's just watch it. Put some ice on it. I'm sure you're fine."

And that's what the school office told Cooper later Friday morning when he complained about his hand.

"Let's just watch it. Put some ice on it. I'm sure you're fine."

And then his finger doubled in size and turned three shades of purple.

And the school called me and the Captain brought him to my office and we got an x-ray and a diagnosis of a cracked bone in his hand.

And a cast for two weeks.

He picked orange.

No comment.

Yes, it's his right hand. Yes, he's right handed. As if nine-year old boys are challenged at the dinner table and in the bathroom enough with both hands, let's go ahead and put a cast on the dominant hand. No comment.

Anyhoo...he'll be fine.

He'll be proud to show his cast off at school today. And he's sporting Josh Pastner's signature -- we saw him at the U of M women's volleyball game yesterday - So that's cool.

The weekend was full of lots of stuff and things and teenage social events. And almost every emotion known to man. And a migraine. And a Hog win. But it did not include rest or laundry or grocery shopping. So that's kind of where we are.

Tired. Sporting an orange cast. And staring Monday in the face.

it's back.

2011-10-22T07:09:00.003-05:00

Just realized I haven't had the Saturday run-down of Twitter in a few weeks. There is no excuse for this behavior. So here it is:

At the half: Angie 4, Laundry 3

Coffee is the greatest thing ever in the history of ever.

Traffic question: Does one yield to a marching band? #tuba

{insert blah blah blah tweet here}

Yeah, I've been picking cashews out of the trail mix. Wanna' make something of it?

The Sonic hot dog screaming woman is driving me nuts.

I forgot Michael Jackson had a son named Blanket.

Daughter is up on a stool trying to get a yellow rubber sticky toy frog off my kitchen ceiling. Yeah, just another exciting Thursday night

Candy corn. Yay or nay? Sound off.

Why are they called animal crackers and graham crackers when they are clearly cookies?

Happy Birthday to my Daddy today. I bet the cake in heaven in awesome.

Son came out of his room dressed and ready for church - sporting his WWE championship belt thrown over his shoulder. #amen

Do chocolate covered raisins count toward the recommended daily serving of fruit?

Wailing and gnashing of teeth. Also known as 4th grade math.

Root canal > 4th grade math.

No, precious daughter, school is not closed for Halloween.

Letting a nine year old boy eat cinnamon toast in my bed is probably not one of my brightest moves.

Boy + BIke - Balance = Broken bone in hand = Cast

And the kid picked orange for Florida and Tennessee so I'm making him sleep outside til he gets it off #kidding #GoHogs

Alrighty then...

2011-10-21T05:36:00.004-05:00

Save $3,000 and take your kids to Chattanooga instead.

Take Five

2011-10-20T05:45:00.004-05:00

Five random things rolling around in my brain right now:

1. Nice little cool spell this week.

2. Go Cardinals!

3. Reading The Help and love, love, love it.

4. Sure wish today was Friday. Or even Saturday for that matter. But alas, it's not.

5. I like candy corn. Do you?

4th grade math homework

2011-10-19T05:37:00.005-05:00

See also: Wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Please remember to carry your three.

Hide under couch pillows.

(Him, not me. Although I gave it some serious consideration.)

What on earth? You know what six times seven is. For the love...

Root canal > 4th grade math homework

Help me Jesus. And God. And Mary. And Joseph. And Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John ...

I could never home school.

Never. Ever.

I could never even TEACH school.

Thank you, God, for teachers.

Especially 4th grade math teachers.

Yea! You finished a page. Three more to go!

It's CARRY not TIMES.

"This is so stuuuuu-pid."

Him.

And me.

No, dinner is not ready, because we've been working on this math for an hour.

And, now you are finished.

Hooray.

And amen.

Like. Dislike.

2011-10-18T05:37:00.004-05:00

Cold, rainy day = like

Having to go to work during cold, rainy day = dislike

Reading "The Help" = like

Football and baseball on TV = like

Cardinals in the World Series = like

Neighborhood kids talking ugly in my yard = dislike

The Captain going out there and taking care of business = like

Conference realignment = dislike

Candy corn = like

Heart still heavy thinking about Nick and the Brumfields = dislike

My MIL still at the beach = dislike

My tan is fading = dislike

Curious George pajama pants = like

Jordan got headgear at the orthodontist yesterday = dislike

It really might prevent her from having jaw surgery = like

The Captain just returned from the gym wearing his shorts correctly = like

You all come here every day to read this nonsense = like

Excuse me sir, your panties are showing

2011-10-17T06:31:00.004-05:00

The Captain created quite a little scene the other day at the gym.

Work out - check.

Steam room - check.

Wet shorts - check.

There's a little thing in the locker room that you can put your wet gym clothes or swim suit in and it spins the water out of your clothes. I liken it to a giant salad spinner.

So the Captain does that.

Puts his shorts in there.

Spins them around.

And puts them back on.

And he talks to some other fellas in the locker room.

See y'all tomorrow.

Then he goes out to the lobby and talks to the gal at the front desk.

Have a good day.

He greets a few other folks walking in to the gym.

Mornin'.

Then he drives home and heads to the bathroom to take a shower.

That's when he notices....

He has put his shorts on inside out.

Inside out shorts -- not really that big of a deal.

But inside out shorts that have a built in panty thing - that's kind of hilarious.

In fact that's REALLY hilarious.

And the Captain had been prissing around the locker room and the gym and the lobby and the parking lot wearing shorts. With panties on top.

I leave you with that vision.

Have a nice day.

Friday Haiku

2011-10-14T11:00:00.003-05:00

Did not blog this morn

What has happened to my brain

Need a bit more sleep

Hogs are off this week

But other games will be watched

Football football yes

Now reading The Help

Only person who has not

read it or seen the movie

I talk to Captain

About the craziest things

Plants and DNA

Asked about Japan

Being a part of Asia

He said they were not

Also talk about

deer poop, steel beams, and baseball.

I love that guy lots.

Happy weekend friends.

May your team win tomorrow

And your laundry washed

Pumpkin post

2011-10-13T05:50:00.003-05:00

I'm not a fan of pumpkin food stuff. Like eating pumpkins or pumpkin things or pumpkin flavored things.

I'll pass on the Starbucks pumpkin spice latte that is apparently the total rage.

No thanks on pumpkin bread, pumpkin pie, pumpkin cheesecake or pumpkin pancakes.

(Have you ever written a word so many times that it starts looking like you've misspelled it? pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin....weird.)

I will totally pass on the pumpkin pop-tarts I saw last week at Target. Yes, I saw pumpkin pop-tarts. Sacrilege.

How about you?

Pumpkin.

Prefer or Pass?

Lips and knees and nothing

2011-10-12T05:44:00.009-05:00

So, yeah, the beach. Love.

It was a short trip. But a trip to the beach nonetheless.

We left after Jordan's volleyball game on Thursday night. Which scheduled our ETA for 1:30 am. Which is ridiculous. It got a little dicey between 11:45 pm and 1:00 am. That's when the Captain was sitting on the edge of the driver's seat begging for M & M's and searching the abandoned Mississippi highways for a caffeinated beverage. To no avail. Well, I provided the M & M's. But couldn't come up with a drink. *yawn*

The next three days featured a frenzy of nothingness. Which is fine with me.

Six of the folks in our "sort of" group that I knew but didn't know ended up leaving on Thursday afternoon so they weren't even there. And four of the folks in our "real" group left on Saturday. So it ended up being the four of us, the Captain's MIL, and her friend. And NOT Connie. Which made me sad. Because as we discussed, it was the first time in 15 years I've been to the beach without her. And that's just not ok.

We slept and read and ate and watched football (including a big ol' Hog win! Woop woop!) And it doesn't get any better than that.

Jordan has finally seen the beachy light and just wanted to sit on the beach the whole weekend. Cooper isn't quite there yet because he was beyond obsessed with the indoor pool. Really? The INDOOR pool.

And the washer broke so we didn't even have to do laundry. And that was fine too. Although it's a proven fact that vacation laundry isn't nearly as painful as home laundry. But no laundry is best of all.

I got some ridiculous sunburned kneecaps. Which I really have no explanation for other than they were at a direct angle to the sun while I sat in the beach chair doing nothing except sitting and reading and dozing and watching the surf.

I apparently got sunburned lips too. Because on Sunday morning I woke up looking like Angelina Jolie with Botox gone bad. My bottom lip was humongously swollen. I looked like a complete goober. With a big ol' lip. And red kneecaps.

All good things must come to an end, and Monday morning we headed home.

That's when we found the volleyball bag - with a four day old, less than fresh, volleyball uniform. Major stinko.

So now we are home. And laundry is done. And my lip isn't swollen anymore. And my kneecaps are fine.

The end.

winning...and losing...

2011-10-11T07:51:00.005-05:00

Home from the beach. I'll tell you about it later. Although there's really not that much to talk about, because I didn't do anything. But, later I'll fill you in on my sunburned kneecaps.

Today, though, I hope you will pray for the Brumfield family. On Sunday, Nick won his battle with cancer and went home to heaven. He was brave. And faithful. And there are many who are sad. Especially our youth group - please remember then in prayer also as they have lost one of their own. Sometimes young people just don't get it. And they really shouldn't have to.

It's just all so hard.

And sad.

byebye

2011-10-06T06:35:00.004-05:00

Guess what? We're headed to the beach today! Woot Woot!!

I have to work a few hours, go the bank, go to Target, take the Bloggie Doggie to the puppy motel, finish laundry, pack, make sure there won't be any science experiments growing in the frig while we're gone, get gas, go to a volleyball game annnnnnnd THEN we're headed to the beach. So it's really more like "We're headed to the beach tonight!"

I have already talked to my friend, The Weather Man and asked him to keep all named storms and other various forms of wet weather away from that area for a few days. His reply? "You should have great weather." So that's taken care of....

Still makes me a little sad because fall break beach trips remind me of my daddy so much. Because sometimes you just miss the way things used to be, you know?

And this is -- I think -- only the third time in my life I've ever been to the beach without Connie. Ever in the history of sister everness. Waaaaahhhhh.....

But it will be a nice few days of nothingness.

Just me and my squatty beach chair and 18 books.

And the Captain.

And my kids.

And my MIL.

And 11 other people who are "with us" but not "with us". Which is too complicated to explain. And it doesn't really matter anyway. But it does include a total of six teenage girls (including my own) so, while the chance of rain may be 10%, the chance of teen girl drama is probably closer to 85%. Anyhoo....

The ol' MAMGL blog may be a little hit or miss the next few days.

But, I'll be back.

I promise.

A bit more rested.

And slightly tan.

Over and out.

Behold, it stinketh

2011-10-05T06:44:00.005-05:00

I still have a terribly stinky microwave following the Macaroni Microwave Mishap.

I've tried vinegar, bread, baking soda, lemon, potatoes....

I just read to put charcoal brick things in there. Which is kind of funny considering that's what the macaroni looked like after the "extreme cooking".

I've been told by more than one person that once there's a major "burn situation" in your microwave, that the smell is in the motor and it will never go away. As in: Buy a new microwave. Really? Buy a new $92801228 microwave because of a 75 cent cup of noodles?

Does anybody out there have any other solutions??

Help.

Thanks.

Bye.

Legggooooo!

2011-10-04T07:58:00.008-05:00

Remember when I got my new car and everything was so suspicious and stuff and I thought it was stolen and all that?

Well, part of "the deal" is that Rico picks my car up and takes it to get the oil changed. Yes, how nice. And he leaves me a car when he does that. Yes, how very nice.

Today, he left me this little baby. How very, very nice.

I suddenly have lots of errands to run today....

Actually, I'm too scared to even touch it because if I wreck it, Rico's Boys will put concrete shoes on me and throw me in the river.

Maybe I'll drive it around the parking lot....

The one where my daughter almost burned the house down.

2011-10-03T06:37:00.004-05:00

Dear Jordan:

When you make this:

...please add water...

...or you get this...

And the little cup thing of noodles will turn into a charcoal briquette and the whole kitchen will fill up with smoke and make your house stinky for three days and make your microwave stinky for apparently forever....

Thanks.

Love,
Mom

Twitter. That's what's up.

2011-10-01T08:20:00.003-05:00

Here's all the exciting stuff that happened last week on Twitter....

The Captain is lucky I didn't smother him in his sleep last night to put me out of my misery. He snored like HR Pufnstuf all. night. long

Dear Emotions: It would be real nice if you would all attempt a little coordination instead of being all over the place. Thanks.

Driving to the other side of the world for a volleyball game.

Seriously, how can I forget my car?!?!

I hate it when the apps on my phone get all out of order.

Driving the Captain nuts by using cop lingo in all my texts to him

Seriously, Son, did you even CLOSE the shower door?

No volleyball game tonight and what am I doing? Watching volleyball on TV. I'm sick, people

I've never understood how a couch just ends up on the side of the road.

Pray for Nick.

Friday night lights.

Small catastrophe in microwave. House full of smoke. Fire averted. Somebody please remove @vball199 from my kitchen.

The Captain tweets...kind of

2011-09-30T05:43:00.008-05:00

Did you know the Captain has a twitter?

Yep.

Coolio.

But the coolest thing of all is that he has "people" that tweet for him. The life...

The Captain is not in any way, shape, or form a fan of social media. At. All. He thinks Facebook is straight from the devil. And doesn't exactly understand the whole twitter thing. Although he has made great strides in his comprehension of this phenom.

But he is so full of fabby policey behavior and wise proverbial sayings that these ... ahem ... "people" thought he should be sharing it with the world. Because you really need to know his thoughts about Bigfoot shows and crime and stuff...

Now, let it be known that the Captain is very aware of "his" twitter. And he is very aware of what "he" tweets. Because the "people" know not to do stuff like that without his knowledge or approval. And they believe in full disclosure and all.

So, scoot on over and check him out right here

And, while you're at it, have a lovely day.

It sounds like this

2011-09-29T05:44:00.002-05:00

We got a new washing machine a few weeks ago. It's pretty awesome as far as washing machines go. I mean, it gets my clothes clean. And that's the main goal...

It's quiet, but loud at the same time. If that makes sense. The noises go something like this:

Click click click

Swoooooooosh

Noise that sounds like an airplane taking off

Noise that sounds like a toilet flushing

Noise that sounds like a shower running

More swoooooooosh

One final click.

Done.

I felt compelled to share this with you today. You're welcome.

Moo

2011-09-28T05:46:00.005-05:00

I know it will come as a great shock to you when I tell you Jordan had a volleyball game last night. And this one was waaaaayyyy out there. Like four zip codes away. In Small Town.

Small Town as in everybody was waving at the Captain in his police car.

Small Town as in there was a guy shooting his bow in his front yard.

Small Town as in cows and pony pastures and country things like that.

Small Town as in Connie heard somebody at a store use the words "pork rinds" and "Maw" in the same sentence.

Now, y'all I've got nothing against Small Towns. One day, the Captain wants to live way out in Ruralville like that and have goats in the front yard and all that stuff.

Not me.

I must be within 15 minutes of a Super Target or I will surely die.

I don't do "country". Or Small Town.

Anyway, volleyball calls, so we drove alllllll the way out there. OK, it was only about 25 minutes. Even though it seemed like it was 3 hours.

Then we watched the games.

Then we drove alllllll the way home.

And when we got home I remembered that the Captain had picked me up at work so we could ride out to Small Town together and we forgot to go back by my office and get my car.

Awesome.

So while our dutiful studious kids were doing math sheets and studying for a French II exam, we drove back to my office to get my car.

And thennnnn, we got to Skype with the Captain's sister and BIL and the new BABY GIRL!!!

Kennedy Ryan H.

7 lb. 14 oz

20"

Born at 12:23 pm

Everybody is sweet and little and tiny and precious. And the fact that we could do all that on the computer and see her in Houston, TX was just too much for me. So I cried.

And that sums up my lovely Tuesday night.

The end.

Conflict.

2011-09-27T05:22:00.005-05:00

I'm kinda' all over the place today, people.

The Captain's sister is having a baby today. Remember when she got married? The huge road trip wedding weekend of puke, panties, and precipitation? Yeah, that one. Anyway, their first baby will arrive in the world today. And my heart is full of excitement and anticipation and love for them.

And, at the same time my heart it breaking. Remember our friend Nick who was diagnosed with a brain tumor last summer? They found out yesterday that the cancer has now spread to his spine. They begin radiation today. And my heart is full of sadness and brokenness and fear.

Conflict.

Happy.

Sad.

I just wanna' cry.

Life.

"When times are good, be happy.

When times are bad, consider this:

God has made the one as well as the other.

Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future."

Ecclesiastes 7:14

Expensive Socks

2011-09-26T05:30:00.005-05:00

All she needed was some new socks. So Jordan and I ran to Target Saturday night after the debacle also known as the Arkansas-Alabama game to get them.

$150 later, we left with the socks. And all this too:

two CDs
bathing suit - marked waaayyyyy down - for Jordan - not for me because I'm allergic to bathing suits
two bags of M & M's - one bag of peanut butter (which are most excellent) and one bag of pretzel
two little dresses - for Jordan - I'm also allergic to something that's described as "little"
bag of apples
butter
crescent rolls
headbands - in school approved colors
chocolate covered raisins - special request from the Captain
Coke Zero - again, for the Captain
Special K chocolate shake drink things
two spiral notebooks
a package of bobby pins
gum

Oh, and the socks.

Twitter. With some volleyball. And a cold.

2011-09-24T08:25:00.000-05:00

Twitters from the week featured lots of volleyball and a pesky headcold.

Will my plant die if I pour coffee in it?

Football > Chores

Man, there are a lot of Legos in this house.

I guess this laundry isn't going to fold itself...

"My name Peggy. You have problem?"

Convinced I just saw Charo at Target.

If you're about to run out of gas, do you drive fast so you arrive before you run out or drive slow to conserve what little gas you have?

I just said out loud to my son, "Don't run with that sucker in your mouth." I have become my mother.

I think @vball199 just growled at the other team. Right after she spiked the ball down number twelve's throat.

I want to whine about how tired I am. But I won't. You're welcome.

Cloudy this morning. Nice change to be able to drive east without having my retinas burned up by the rising, blinding sun.

Seeing my dad's handwriting makes me sad.

Nice to have a sister who understands me when I say "That's a lot of blah blah for not much whatever."

More football? Yes, please.

If you need me, I'll be at the volleyball game.

I got no time for this cold.

Me and my cold are going to the volleyball game.

Spearmint is the yuckiest mint of all the mints in the mint family.

Here's hoping none of us gets hit by a falling five ton space satellite today.

So, about this satellite.

I'm stuck in a traffic jam in the middle of a caravan full of painted up teenage boys headed to a football game. Hi, fellas.

Painted Boy U and Painted Boy R are standing on the side of the road waiting on the rest of the caravan.

That's what's up

2011-09-23T05:24:00.004-05:00

Wassup?

Wondering -- if it's too early to put out my fall decorations. Today is officially the first day of fall, but it's still going to be a little warmish next week. Decisions, decisions...

Wishing -- this stupid cold would go away.

Singing -- Party Rock Anthem. If you don't know it from the radio, you'll know it from this commercial. Which I also like. Everyday I'm shufflin... Story of my life.

Thinking -- about a nice, lazy weekend at home watching lots of football. See also: GO HOGS!

Needing -- to go to the grocery store. My family kind of likes food. The nerve...

Reading -- that same ol' book I've been reading for six months.... Yeah, I know....

Stealing -- Jordan's laptop this morning. Also, this whole barometer idea. Again. Remember? It's Busy Mom's thing.

Clapping -- since I didn't use the word "volleyball" one single time in this whole post.

No, I don't want to smell it.

2011-09-22T05:28:00.004-05:00

Today's blog features the word "urine". I'm so sorry...

Because last night the Captain said, "Nothing better than a brand new bottle of buck urine."

And I really didn't know how to respond to that. Buck urine is used in deer hunting for something that I can't quite explain. And all the deer hunting stuff starts this weekend. Tis the season. That's why the Captain has been shooting his bow in the back yard pretending to be Robin Hood. And why ~~The Great White Hunter~~ the Captain has a brand new bottle of buck urine. Nothing better, apparently.

Personally, I think there are lots of things better than a bottle of buck urine.

Like a root canal. Or an ingrown toenail.

Not only is it ridiculous that he uses buck urine. It's even more ridiculous that he pays for it.

And speaking of ridiculous, he wanted me to smell it.

No thanks, really. I'm good.

Probably should have pretended to do it. Because my nose is so stopped up from this ridiculous cold I can barely breathe and I can't smell anything anyway.

But then I would be setting a precedent. And I don't want to be known as a "Urine Sniffer."

Sadly, this isn't the first time I've blogged about deer pee. I know, I know.... Remember The one about the pee? Yeah, that one.

Anyway, the current buck urine isn't in my freezer. This is just sitting there on the counter. Maybe since this isn't explosive, it can remain at room temperature.

I'm not touching it.

Or smelling it.

Even if I could smell.

And, for the three of you still reading this, please accept my apologies for blogging about buck urine.

Have a good day anyway.

I'll whine while you comment.

2011-09-21T05:29:00.007-05:00

I'm tired.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can hear all of you unsubscribing to this blog.

How many times in a row can I post "I'm tired." Apparently a lot.

The short story is, I had a meeting last night AFTER the volleyball game.

And I got home at 10:45 pm. And since I get up at 4:00 am, that's just not much sleep. And if you'll recall we got home Monday night about the same time the chickens were crowing.

Wait, do chickens crow? Or is that roosters? Oh dear.... Who cares ... But really, who says cockadoodledoo when the sun comes up? Roosters, I think.

Mercy. I'm tired. And stupid.

Plus, I'm fighting a cold. *achoo*

Awesome.

So, today I have nothing to say that is not of the whining variety. I'm sorry about that. But I'm so tired, my eyelashes hurt.

So, the job or writing today's post is on your shoulders.

Let me hear from you.

Tell me something.

Anything.

Really. Just say something. What you had for dinner last night. What the weather's like where you live. Who you're rooting for this weekend on the gridiron. Or just say hi.

Just say something.

Ready? Go.

The one where I'm still talking about volleyball

2011-09-20T05:33:00.004-05:00

Another fabulous volleyball post. I know. It's just so exciting. Does anybody still even read this blog? Hello?

Anyway...

So, the JV game that normally starts at 5pm was scheduled to start at 6pm. Which means the varsity game that normally starts at 6pm would start at 7pm.

And after the 8th grade game ran late, the JV game didn't even start until 6:30 pm.

And then they lost in two. Boo.

And, not to brag, but Jordan had a great game. Yea.

I guess that's bragging since I'm talking about how well she played. But I guess it's my blog and my kid so I can brag if I want to. But, for what it's worth, I had three folks tell me they thought Jordan played the best game they've ever seen. So, apparently I wasn't the only one. And I'm proud of number seven.

I'm really just glad she didn't growl at the other team again tonight. Altho the first thing she said when she came over to the very comfortable bleachers, was "DUDE! DID YOU SEE ME BLOCK NUMBER TEN?!?!?!?" And then she made some sort of angry animal sound. Humph.

So, where were we? Oh, yes, sitting on the very comfortable bleachers... And the varsity game that normally starts at 6pm was supposed to start at 7pm, but then it was also senior night, so we had all that rah rah.

THEN the game started.

We were getting a big ol' dose of butt-whipping served up to us on a less than silver platter.

And it was kind of fine with me because by the time we were half-way through the third game - also known as the We Can Finally Head Home Game - guess what happened?!? Yes - A RALLY!!! And I don't know how I feel about a rally in the third game when it's already 9pm. You read that right. NINE PM. As in - well, as in nine pm.

We ended up losing the next game ~~which made me so happy because I was almost unconscious with exhaustion~~ which made me sad because I wanted to come back to beat those Mustangs. So that was the end of that.

And we headed home at 9:45 pm. And I had no feeling in my rear end. Because of four hours sitting on the very comfortable bleachers.

We got home, Jordan ate dinner, blew off her French homework and everybody went to bed. But somebody - aka ME - had to stay up and wait for the washing machine to finish so the "line dry only" jerseys could be line dried. Because we all know that "tumble dry low" doesn't really cut it and it would be pretty bad if that big number seven melted all over my dryer in my attempt to get a jump start on my sleep.

So now, here we are on Tuesday morning. And there was enough day in yesterday to at least count twice. But apparently not. I know it seems like all I talk about these days is how we are doing volleyball every night and how I am so tired. But we are doing volleyball every night. And I am so tired.

And, yes, there's a game tonight.

Somebody save me a seat on the very comfortable bleachers.

Smackdown Decor

2011-09-19T05:37:00.004-05:00

Not everybody has a backstage WWE set in their den....

All the wrestlers in the dressing room...

And all their props....

That sums up Cooper's weekend.

Jordan got in bed Friday afternoon and never got out.

The Captain and I worked with Connie over at my mom's packing and purging to get ready for her to move.

Oh, and we watched football.

This week is beyond full of ... wait for it... volleyball. And I'm sooooo excited the games start an hour later than usual. So that means we drag in at 10pm every night. Lovely.

The end.

15 random facts about last night

2011-09-16T05:43:00.004-05:00

1. It involves volleyball. Of course.

2. The JV team won - woot woot!

3. Jordan had a very good game. She had had a bad day and kind of took it out at the net.

4. And at one point, she growled at the other team ... right after she killed the ball down number twelve's throat.

5. The varsity team won a most exciting game that went to five very crazy, very close games.

6. Really, it was soooo exciting. And it was loud. It was crazy loud. One of the best matches I've ever seen. Ever. In the history of all my volleyball watching days.

7. Niece M got a mention in the paper today for her awesome block which was part of a key turning point in the game. YEA!!

8. The Captain and I had to work concessions again last night during the varsity game. Ick.

9. But when the match goes 22-25, 23-25, 25-23, 23-16, 15-8, there really isn't much business in the concession stand. So we got to still watch most of the game.

10. We finally got home at 9:30 pm.

11. And then we had to eat and shower and study and do all that regular nighttime stuff.

12. Jordan had tons of homework including studying for two huge tests.

13. I was still quizzing her on Greek mythology at 11:30 pm.

14. Personally, I think that's just too late to be attempting to learn about Zeus and Poseidon and all those other those folks.

15. And now it's Friday morning and I'm tired.

The End.

These are the things that keep me up at night.

2011-09-15T05:55:00.003-05:00

The other night we were at a volleyball game - imagine that - and Cooper got some of those delicious concession stand nachos.

I noticed they only gave him about five chips. It hardly seemed in proportion to the blob of cheese sauce. And it was obvious he was going to have a significant amount of cheese sauce left over with no chips.

So, that triggered a most fascinating debate among the folks in the stands. And I present the question to you on this lovely day:

Would you rather have leftover chips or leftover dip?

I fully support the equal chip:dip ratio thing. And there's definitely a strategy for making sure there's enough dip for every chip. One should be able to amply dip his chip without fear of running out of dip.

But sometimes there's a little disparity. Some poor proportion judgement coming out of the concession stand.

And which would you rather have left over?

Chips?

Or dip?

Personally, I'd rather have chips leftover because I think you can still eat the chips by themselves. The chips stand alone.

However, if you may be somebody like a certain nine-year old boy who has no problem licking the leftover dip out of the container regardless of what type of private or public setting he is in, then you may think leftover dip is preferred.

So, let me hear from you....

Do you prefer leftover chips or leftover dip?

Sound off.

Off with his head

2011-09-14T01:03:00.000-05:00

Looks like a horrible deep-sea accident took place in my bathtub.

Thank goodness for Mr. Construction Worker who valiantly slayed the shark.

But poor Mr. Diver....

... who can, apparently, still keep his balance atop a hot tub jet even without his head.

Hair raising

2011-09-13T05:45:00.005-05:00

~~Connie~~ The Me and My Good Life Canine Editor sent me this video.

It cracked me up - like laugh until I snort crack up.

Hope your day is so great, it's shocking. I know, I know.... that was bad. Can't help it... Have a good day anyway.

Such a lovely place. No thanks.

2011-09-12T05:28:00.005-05:00

Confession: I hate the song Hotel California

I know. I'm probably the only one in the world.

But really, I absolutely can't stand it.

The Captain thought it was because it was "all spooky and about ghosts and stuff".

Oh? It is?

I thought it was about some icky, run-down one-star hotel.

He explained to me that it me that it wasn't.

Right after he gave me the "I Can't Believe I Asked You Out That Second Time" Look.

Humph.

The Eagles came in town a few years ago and two of my long time friends talked about our all going together.

"Do you think they'll sing Hotel California?" I asked.

Ummmm, yes they were pretty 250% sure The Eagles would sing Hotel California.

Then no, I'm not going.

So, there you have it. Another fascinating factoid about me.

I'm really surprised you people keep coming back here.

Bless.

da tweeter

2011-09-10T04:47:00.000-05:00

checkin out da week on da tweeter

Yes, I agree. 6:30 on a Saturday morning is too early to be headed to a volleyball tournament.

Captain just arrived at vball tourny to tell me "the washer smells like it's on fire". That can't be good.

And we'll just buy a new washer between pool play and bracket play

Volleyball all day. Football all night. Life is good.

Dear Captain: I love you, but we are not going to watch the Finding Bigfoot marathon. #FOOTBALL #AreYouNuts

Cleaning granola out of my purse. Don't ask.

Four empty laundry baskets and an empty dishwasher. Yeah, baby.

Olleyvay allbay.

I got the insomnia. The Captain seems to have no problem sleeping right now since he's over there snoring like a sleestak.

73 and sunny? Yes, please.

Oh, and some Hall and Oates. Thanks.

Sometimes, it's just a whole bunch of "Good Grief."

I'm pretty sure I don't understand 4th grade science.

Confession: I hate the song "Hotel California"

Beep

2011-09-09T05:06:00.003-05:00

During a conversation at work yesterday I mentioned I needed to get some money from the beeper. That comment drew some odd looks. Now, while it is certainly not unusual for me to get odd looks when I say things, I discovered that apparently I'm the only one that uses the word "beeper" for this particular thing.

The "thing" in question is the machine at the bank where you can drive through and withdraw some cash.

The "Automatic Teller Machine".

I call it a beeper.

I've always called it a beeper.

Because you go there and beep beep beep some money.

And, in my world, it's used as a noun and a verb.

I go to the beeper to beep out some money.

Beep beep beep.

But APPARENTLY nobody else calls it that. And not only do they not call it that, nobody has even heard of that.

Really?

My unscientific poll on Twitter shows that most people call it an ATM. A few votes for Money Machine.

And NOBODY calls it - or has heard of calling it - a beeper.

Humph.

So, my sweet cupcakes, I'm asking you ...

What do you call the machine at the bank where you can drive through and withdraw some cash?

Sound off.

Oh, and have a great weekend!

Untitled blah blah blah

2011-09-08T05:27:00.004-05:00

Today is apparently Thursday. The week has been all jacked up. Guess we'll have it wrapped up before we realize. Fine with me.

Tonight is a volleyball game. Of course it is.

And then some football. Yes.

That's kind of all I talk about this time of year ... volleyball and football.

Football and volleyball.

That's kind of all there is right now for us.

And this weekend is just football. And I also want to sleep for 297,569,134 hours.

My little bouts of insomnia have resurfaced again. And that's not anywhere near cool.

And, the Captain snores. He has lots of versions of his snoring which range from sounding like a small grizzly bear to a clogged up vacuum cleaner to a Sleestak.

Please, people, tell me you're old enough to remember the Sleestaks.

This post has been all over the place. Just like my week.

It happens.

Confused

2011-09-07T07:33:00.000-05:00

What's today?